Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The Joys of Motherhood

Upon re-entering my bedroom this morning, I found my toddler standing in her crib, pants on the floor, empty diaper on the floor. In her tiny outstretched hand guessed it a "present" and a large one at that!

Furthermore and knowing no better, she actually expected me to just take it from her. She was like.."Here it's yours" but what she said was,"ewww stinky" Thankfully I had some tissue on my bed so that took care of things. So gross. Needless to say potty training starts this weekend.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Birthday Number 3_?

Published 1st short story, Yippie! Smiled at warm B-day text wishes, Made three batches of pancake mix for “the tribe”, and real hot cocoa, bathed a baby, updated Linkedin page, threw out two and a half bags of miscellaneous crap, updated blog page and scribd page, served pizza, did 6 loads of laundry, sorted about 10 loads of laundry, tweeted some more, updated goodreads page, Donated 4 bags of boys clothes, stored 3 bags of girls clothes, replied to cousin, posted on Facebook, vacuumed three rooms, said a prayer, ate leftovers (thanks Vanessa) made 2 loaves of pumpkin bread, listened to kids sing Happy Birthday", made a wish, blew out a candle, over-ate, skipped workout, had coffee, had tea, cuddled with toddler, took a shower, got awsome feedback about short story, tweeted, posting this note then having water and some tums and going to bed hopefully with less of a stomach ache. LOL…People believing that I was turning 30 today…priceless

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Winter S.O.S. (Save our Skin)

I love the Fall/Winter season, but hate what the cold does to my hair and skin. This is also flu season and with the H1N1 virus floating around, we must wash our hands more often than ever before. If you have not heard HAND SANITIZER IS A MUST; keep it in your purse, another in your car and one handy at the office,and use them all....often!!! Here are a few more winter skin care survival tips.


After a bath or shower, apply your body lotions and face moisturizers before you leave the steamy bathroom. This locks in more moisture than applying them later on overly dry skin.

When using harsh hand soaps pat your hands dry then let them air dry (when you can) instead of wiping them completely dry. (apply hand cream)

On really cold nights, sleep with a humidifier on to prevent dry skin around your face.

In cases of extremely dry hands (to the point where they are painful to wash) use hand sanitizer more and hand soap less and apply Neutrogena hand cream throughout the day

Good year round advice; especially if you have curly hair or chemically treated hair. Use a leave-in conditioner before applying your styling aids to minimize split ends. Also add a small amount of serum (Pureology is great) to your styling aids to help prevent static fly away hair.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Excuses. Excuses.

I can’t believe a month has gone by I swore to myself that I would not neglect my blog but…here we are.

Firstly, why has my blogging gone to the wayside? I’ve had a lack of time and new writable ideas, (not that this is one). I have recently re-jumped my college education with no particular goal except for acquiring a degree by the end of next year (definitely doable). A friend of mine enquired about my ultimate goal and not having any, we concluded that garden doors would surely open just by me walking the path.

Having to write for my English class (though I love it and may post/publish some of it) has not only kept me from blogging but also from my work on, “Dissonance” which I was hoping to release this month. I am actually glad that I’ve been able to put, this story off, not completely of course; once again I praise the universe and her work.

In this lost time, I’ve been introduced to new music (thanks to the subject of “A Man and his Band” see blog). The music has turned out to be a great influence on, “Dissonance”. Initially I thought of, “Dissonance” as a short story, a kind of cool escape. But with all the extra time, it’s turning into something really, really great, just as someone else predicted; though he has yet to see the effects of the musical influence.

Exhibit A: Excerpt from, “Dissonance”

Gavin hoped that in making eye contact with her, she might at very least sympathize; but the beast remained bitter. Not bothering to store her satisfied smirk, she spat at him then turned and walked towards the dresser…

Trust me there is a musical influence at hand in there, and it made a big difference. I usually add what my friend called “flavor text” I’d like to call this “garnish text” Out of the other 9+ projects I think I will only be able to use garnish in, “Dissonance”.

I’ll try to keep up, it may come down to posting my class work, but I do have some pretty decent excuses.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

That Kind of Tired.

That kind of tired, when you have no idea how you made it home but you’re so glad you did.

That kind of tired, when you sit down at your computer, you realize that you have no idea why you even bothered to turn it on.

That kind of tired, when you linger in the shower in hopes that the water droplets can somehow substitute your warm comforter.

That kind of tired that while you're in the shower you keep your eyes closed and try not to lose your balance completely.

That kind of tired when you almost forget to take out your contact lenses before getting into bed.
That kind of tired when you can’t remember if you set the car alarm or not; and you don’t bother to double check.

That kind of tired when you make sure to turn off your alarm and your cell phone; you don’t even want to think about waking up the next day.

That kind of tired when you accidentally, momentarily, doze off during sex: and your partner knows it because you snorted.

That kind of tired when even though you usually sleep on your stomach, you end up drifting off while you're still on your back.

That’s how tired I am right now,

That kind of tired.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Urinus, Uranus

So I was getting ready for work the other day and the PBS channel was on in my room. There was a children's animated science show on at the time, which I easily ignored; up until I heard one of the characters say Urinus (Urine-us) WHAT? I mean what are they trying to pull? That’s not the way my teachers said it. It was always Uranus (Your-anus). Right?

It’s plain as day; if I was texting this blog I could type, “Ur anus” and you’d totally understand. If I’m wrong, someone please tell me that I was cursed with some perverted in the closet teachers but otherwise… Seriously, is this what they are teaching the next generation, urine -us? My gosh can you honestly say that, THAT is any better? I mean why even bother?

I confronted my daughter:
“Honey, does your teacher say Uranus or Urinus?” I asked.
She immediately responded with, “Urine is Peeeeeee!”
I rest my case.

What I really want to know is who made that executive decision? I could see it now, over at NASA:

“Well while we’re demoting Pluto, why don’t we just go on ahead and change the pronunciation of Uranus to Urine-us.”

Suddenly I’m thinking of the chicken and the egg conundrum. Which came first? Uranus or Your Anus?…Your-in-us? I don’t mean to be obsessive, butt it is what it is.

Okay, it comes down to this, either way is acceptable though some think that saying Urine-us really fast is less embarrassing to say than Uranus; whatever.

I can’t rant like that and leave you hanging so here are some honest factoids.

Uranus is the seventh planet from the Sun, the third largest planet and fourth most massive in our Solar System. It was the first to be discovered using a telescope on March 13, 1781 by Sir William Herschel, who wanted to name it after King George III. It was later named Uranus; the Latinized version of the Greek God of the sky. Uranus is the Father of Kronos (Saturn), Grandfather of Zeus (Jupiter). Uranus is the only planet derived from Greek Mythology instead of a Roman.

Sunday, August 2, 2009


You know sometimes I think, “No…I won’t write that…it’s lame”. But then I remember that, this blog clearly states on the front page, “crap”. Though I don't think shoes are crap, and that is why I have written about them.

It seemed like all day the topic of shoes bombarded my aura like hail storm. At work the subject of my height came up and I made some comment like, “…and on top of that I had no shame wearing 4 inch heels”. That brought up the question, why do I no longer daunt such lovely footwear. Now for those of you who don’t know, I broke my back a few years ago in an inner-tube accident. I’m fine, I can walk and everything, but since then, my shoes have been...well, boring.

Funny how I ended up at the mall today with my sister who happened to be shoe shopping. I wasn’t much help to her as we have different tastes and even though I can not partake in wearing such cute things, my true shoe fetish has remained unchanged; black, 3 ½ inch + heels. It got to a point where I was picking out shoes for her to try on. My feet rested and happily enjoyed living vicariously through hers as she tried on pair after pair of shoes and sashayed around the store.

It was no joke when I confessed that even though I can’t wear 3 ½ inch heels, I still purchase them. My sister’s face went blank as she never sees me in these gorgeous shoes. I told her it’s because I can only wear them for as long as it takes to load the dishwasher or empty the garbage, then I have to remove them. If I feel the mood, I might consider blasting the radio and dance to half a song in them, but that’s about it. : (

Later, my sister told me that after the age of 30, a woman loses her balance and that is why it’s harder to walk in heels. She told me what exercises to do, and so I pray now to the shoe gods:

Give me the patients to continue working on my core and buttocks, so that I…may once again… glide into a room wearing 4-inch heels and they not have to just be my, “sitting shoes”.


Snaps of me and my shoes enjoying happy times at home together.

Here is link to a stupid/funny music video that my nephew found about shoes.

A Band and a Fan.

Fan: Anonymous until he gives me permission
Group: A.F.I.
Upcoming Album Title: Crash Love

On my Facebook profile, I have listed some of my favorite music and groups. A couple of weeks ago I was, “friend requested” by a stranger, a young man. He found me because I was like him, a fan of A.F.I. Though I will admit to following book series a bit obsessively, I am no longer someone who hangs off every quote a rock star or celebrity regurgitates. Ever since I “accept”-ed this young man’s request I have been feeling a slight nostalgia for a time when I did.

I learned that this young man had started an online group, titled “Crash Love” named after the music groups’ soon to be released album. Back in the day I don’t recall there being things like, “release dates” though I’m sure there were. Back then, I would simply hear a song on the radio and if I liked it, I would purchase the cassette (yes cassette) single. Till this day I follow the same rules; I have to like three or more singles to buy the entire album.

This young man seemed to have devoted a great deal of time locating every A.F.I. fan, including myself and asking us to join his “Crash Love” group. At one point he commented “…100 people overnight…”. Like a host at a party, he checked in with me (and I assume everyone he befriended) to see if we had joined the group. Honestly, when it came to A.F.I. I was completely content to listen to their current album. It would have been two years from now that I would have stopped somewhere and thought, “…Oh, I wonder if they ever made another album”. But because of this young man, I now know all kinds of up to date stuff on them.

A.F.I. has some seriously devoted fans, some who do not have 1, but 5 or more tattoos dedicated to them. Fans, who band together on “Twitter” to earn the song titles from “Crash Love”. (Check out “Twitter Troubles” to see how I feel about twitter). When I was younger I found myself a little fanatic about bands like, “Information Society” and “The Cure”. I remember shaving lines into the side of my head I still have seven piercings in my ears and to this day my favorite color is black. Perhaps those bands somehow influenced the fact that I ended up “behind the chair” where I can wear all the black I want and are exposed to crazy cuts and funky hair colors.

The young man’s “Crash Love” group page had a link to one of the band members’ blog; I was curious to learn if the band knew who the dedicated young man was. When I logged onto the blog and read: I found it funny, commited to fans and now I follow it.

For me a writer who is apprihensive to fame, it was good for me to experience a dedicated fan, or fans first hand, and to remember what it was like to be one of them. It was also refreshing to read the band members blog and how he has positively embraced the good bad and ugly sides of fame: old pictures that made it to the internet, drawings and rumors that fans or “haters” made and how much his fans mean to him. It’s up to the fame Gods, weather or not I become famous, but adding this young man as a “friend” and reading the band members blog somehow made my fears of success-a bit less.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Day 20

Indecision clouds my vision

This is definitely not the time to go shopping for clothes. Every decision feels like it needs ten times more thought than it did a week ago. Last week, though in extreme pain, I was on point. I had quicksilver wit, problems were solved quickly and logically; I was the man. This week, WTF? I feel like I’m doing everything and getting nowhere.

It’s like, should I?…or shouldn’t I? All the logic is there from last week, but if a new problem arises I’m totally screwed, I seem to have no idea what to do.

Additionally, I have heard people call Sagittarius’s… Sagi-moody-ous. Currently I have to agree, though it could be my lack of sleep talking. It was so hard for me to get out of my morning funk. It took me 30 minutes of loud music to put me into a mood suitable for the public.

Balancing Act

Driving home today, I thought about that saying; take everything in moderation. Then I thought; the Earth works so hard to balance herself out, why not consider that the universe, God, whatever, also wants to people to be emotionally or spiritually balanced. For instance, why when I am blissfully happy, does some sad and unfortunate univited soul soon enter my tiny world?

I try to believe that the universe, God, whatever, wants us all to be happy, disgustingly happy; like the quantum physicists preach. Yet time and time again I find myself holding back when I’m happy, like I have a fear of it? Experience keeps reinforcing the belief that if you are happy, overly so, you will soon find yourself very unhappy. Fortunately, in order to keep this so called, ‘balance’ it works both ways. Surely you have noticed that when you are in a bad mood, there is always that unexpected soul who crosses your path and soon sends you on your way to a cheerier place.

I was contently happy today, for no special reason. Halfway through the day a young woman entered my world who not as happy. When she left me, I knew that spiritually she was in a better place then when she arrived; and I consequently, was a little less content. Then later on, I had the unfortunate experience of dealing with someone very gloomy. One of those individuals who are more satisfied when they are miserable. They exist in misery; bask in it and receive pure joy when they can spread onto others. Anyhow, this person drained all the happiness I had left. Ugh, she was like a damn dementor wearing an ugly old fat lady suit. 

It seems to not matter how many good energy people you meet, surround yourself with, or positive energy you put out -thinking you are going to get it back-, the universe is certain to place an unfortunate soul directly in your path whose purpose is to suck the joy right out of you and like a vampire leave you drained, depressed and trying to remember what you were so damn happy about in the first place.

Or, perhaps the universe hopes that you will take the opportunity to help these people out of their, “emotional funk.” I hope the universe will soon get the message that some souls are beyond hope, and quit putting those ones in my path. Still, somehow I know the universe, God, whatever, will never give up on trying to balance it all out.

Till then my remedy will be the same:
Remember the good and important people in my life.
Focus on what makes me feel good.
No matter how bad someone tries to make me feel, they have no power over me.
You can be sure as shit that eventually, everything will balance out.

This P.S.A was brought to you by me, Stacy, while I waited for my pizza. I was too tired and drained to cook because today I met a negative ass vampire type person and am still recovering. 

Friday, July 24, 2009

Sunnyside Salon Adventures in Hairstyling-Part 3-Underneath the Scalp.

Sadie: Why did it take you so long to finish that client?

Camilla: Well first she wanted her hair volume-ized but then she said that made her face look fat. So I flattened it, but apparently that made her face look even fatter. (Sigh) Then she started insulting me, saying I didn’t know what I was doing, she even grabbed the brush right out of my hand…I mean. I’ve been doing hair for years (sigh) I don’t know what she expected me to do.

Sadie: Her real problem was not her hair Camilla, it was her face. What she was expecting from you was a face lift. It's times like these that you need to inform your client that you are only a hairstylist, and you can’t control anything she has going on underneath the scalp.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

All about Hair

This tid bit of information is based on my ten plus years behind the chair.

For all hair types (colored, highlighted and virgin)
Wash, rinse, squeeze out excess water, condition, wait 3-5 minutes, rinse.

If you are using heat on your hair, you MUST put a barrier product on. I recommend the following procedures:

Thick/Coarse Hair-using/notusing, Flat/Curling iron
Pureology Straight shampoo
Pureology Straight conditioner
Towel dry
Pureology Straight serum w/ Purology styling serum
Comb through
Blow-dry/Air-dry completely
Kenra hot spray

Fine/Fly away hair-using/not using Irons
Pureology Volume Shampoo
Pureology Volume Conditioner
Towel dry
Pureology Blowdry amplify w/Pureology styling serum
Comb through
Blow-dry/Air-dry completely
Kenra hot spray

*If your hair is overly dry or damaged do to chemicals, (perms and colors), please come in the salon for a FREE consultation so that I can better recommend products to your specific hair-care needs.

Furthermore if your hair no longer styles the way you would like:
You may be due for a haircut.
You may have recently suffered a bad haircut.
You are using home hair color and are lacking protein in the hair (go see your stylist ASAP!)
At your last trim/haircut, you did not allow your stylist to cut off all your split ends.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Day 28

How bad is it?

Emotionally and spiritually I’m elated, but physically, I’m exhausted. I feel as though I just swam 50 laps non stop. My legs are throbbing hip to ankle, as though I did 50 lunges followed by 50 squats. My lower back hurts, as if I lifted up and down a forty pound child over and over again; now if try to move, an odd pain will shoot up my spine and further fuel my already blinding migraine. As bad as all that is, it gets much, much worse.

It’s as if there is an evil little leprechaun living in my abdomen, he wakes every 28 days and takes absolute pleasure in squeezing my uterus like a sponge and then raking it over an everlasting cheese grater. This of course radiates a pain so powerful that my hips feel like they are running in opposite directions trying to rip my body in two. Thankfully, a couple of Midol help to weaken the tiny leprechaun.

Male equivalent
You just won an Aston Martin V12 Vantage simply for putting up with your unappreciative, nagging boss for a measly 7 days. You did the same laps, lunges, squats and lifted the same child. Working out has made you sore and exhausted, so you stow your new vehicle in the garage, all you want to do is sit down in your Lazy boy, crack a beer and watch some TV; but just then the oddest thing happens.

The Karate Kid suddenly appears and kicks you so hard in your manly fruits, that they are somehow forced inside your body, and come to rest just above your bladder. Though in intense pain, you are relived that the K.K can not get to your family jewels again. Unfortunately for you, an evil Smurf-ette has been lounging in your intestines for the past month. Startled and irritated by the new arrival in her space she tries to remove them by twisting your already throbbing male parts over and over again, creating a headache so powerful you think your only relief would be if your eyeballs popped out of their sockets.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Sunnyside Salon Adventures in hairstyling Part 2- Blame the Stylist.

Client complains to her stylist-Sadie- that her hair is feeling oily and is also quite smelly. She blames her condition on Sadie.

Client: Well did you use bleach on my hair?

Sadie: No, no bleach just your usual color that would not make your hair oily.

Client: Well why is my hair so…greasy looking?

Sadie: What shampoo are you using?

Client: The one you gave me.

Sadie: Are you using it the way I told you?

Client: Uhh…

Sadie: Well if you’re not using it the right way…

Client: Well I am.

Sadie: Your diet? Vitamins you may be taking?

Client: No, same diet, same vitamins.

Sadie: Well…it could be your age you are a teenager and....

Client shakes her head.

Sadie: Okay well I will wash it with a treatment shampoo and see if that helps…I mean honestly I can only work with the outside, I have little control over what you do when you leave the salon.

Sadie proceeds to treat her client’s problem. Client is pleased at the results and upon finishing…

Client: Maybe it’s because I’m only washing once a month.

Sadie: You think?

Sunnyside Salon Adventures in Hairstyling. Part 1 Miracles

Sadie: What’s wrong Camilla?

Camilla: My client colored her hair four different colors and almost all her hair fell out. (Sigh) I don’t know what she really expected me to do.... I mean I’m not a miracle worker.

Sadie: Oh didn’t you know? Not only are you a miracle worker but you’re a mind reader and a psychologist too. By the way that’s not a comb in your hand… it’s your magic wand.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Discoveries I made today...

After a weekend surrounded by people I should have just rested, but instead I found myself cleaning. Cleaning is an understatement, my O.C.D kicked in. When I clean like this often times it's because I'm getting over a cold or like today, just getting rid of all the energy I inherited over the weekend. So what did I discover? Well I thought my bedroom was clean until it took six hours to dust, organize and it's clean. Upon cleaning out my refrigerator, I also discovered that my children do not always drink the juice that is left in the fridge for them. With that, I discovered where that juice ends up and why the vegetable drawer was always stuck; the missing juice mixed in with some spilled Parmesan cheese and created a strange sticky goo. I also discovered that I had way too much powdered sugar and the importance of the box of arm and hammer baking soda I keep in the back of the fridge.

This also appears on my facebook.

Friday, June 26, 2009


This is a good way to start off...

A few weeks ago when I walked out of the Salon and stepped into the parking lot, I had what I think Oprah might call a, "light bulb moment". In my right hand was my work bag; complete with shears, flat iron, clippers and miscellaneous products. Over my left shoulder was my backpack, with my notebook full of the stories I had written. I then realized what I must have looked like to the people driving past. I continued on contently towards my car, weighed down with my two passions: the old one and the new. I smiled proudly to myself, because in that moment my outward appearance -lugging those two mismatched bags- was a perfect symbol of my inner spirit.